first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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