No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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