i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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