It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
