at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
