How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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