Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
