But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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