he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Michael Bay diarrhea
i dont even know how to be here
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
