Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
