can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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