I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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