i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
