We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
