I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
meet me or not, i'm out of control
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
