my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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