Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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