When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
