This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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