pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
how do flat chested girls get laid?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
