Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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