this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
