im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
