All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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