Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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