first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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