It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
