thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I just want to make out with him forever
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
