They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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