Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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