I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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