Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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