I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Randomize
