Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
