she looked like the before picture.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Farmville is her only friend.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
