scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
