also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
