well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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