you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
