please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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