I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
it wasn't lemon gatorade
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
