they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
