But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
smell my finger.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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