sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
