On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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