His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
