All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
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