i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
