dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
