Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
