Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
