dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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