This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
