Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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