She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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