maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
