If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
