When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
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