he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
